hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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