Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
