apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
