Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
