This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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