your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
