I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
