Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
