Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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