Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize