then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
