I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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