is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I need to calm my uterus...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
