just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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