I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
