how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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