why didn't you poke me back
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
