I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize