Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
