I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
