i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
