Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Say something about gay babies.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
