im drinking this country out of the recession.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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