The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
is it fun? or sober?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
