i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
