Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
