Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
