i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
