I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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