thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
