btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
