she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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