Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
