Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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