I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
