As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just want to make out with him forever
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
