The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
