Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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