whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
