Already got asked if we're dating
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
