So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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