Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
