I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
