it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize