I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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