I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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