erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
