one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
