at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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