Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
