I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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