Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize