Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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