she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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