We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
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You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He has the fingertips of a God
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