My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
