I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Who put my cat in the fridge?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
