So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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