Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
