6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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