How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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